


Arrangement

by Bigdealrebel (Cammerel)



Series: FinnPoe - Arranged Marriage Universe [1]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Finn being completely heartbreakingly adorable, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time Blow Jobs, Force-Sensitive Finn, Jealous Finn, M/M, Masturbation, Nightmares, No Force Awakens, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Scars, Territorial Finn, What it means to be married, domestic life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-03 02:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cammerel/pseuds/Bigdealrebel
Summary: Set 5 years after what would’ve been The Force Awakens. With both Snoke and Kylo Ren defeated by the Jedi, Rey, the First Order is given a hard choice to make by their mortal enemies. They can continue going down this path, and likely be defeated, or they can agree to a treaty of peace.And though General Organa had fully anticipated it being the former, the current leader of the First Order - General Hux - takes her up on the offer to attempt to an accord.





	1. The Bargaining Chip

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8210653/chapters/18814873). You can never have too much of a good thing, and I wanted to do my own twist on it.

“You’ll…” General Organa blinks when Hux bows his head, his hands still folded behind his back, “You’re open to forming an arrangement for peace?”

“It isn’t an unorthodox proposal,” Hux says, narrowing his brows, his gaze lingering on the sith-turned-jedi standing just behind her, “I’ll consider the proper subject for the marriage of our sides. I trust you will do the same.”

General Organa nods and offers him a soft smile, “I already have someone in mind.”

The com connection ends and she turns to Ben, releasing her own hands from her back and easing her shoulders as she raises a brow at her son.

“They could be planning an attack instead.”

“We’ll win, if they do,” she says in confidence, “But I’m hoping it’s sincere, for all of us. Do you want to tell him, or should I?”

Ben drops his head down in thought, “You want to marry off our best pilot in the fleet?”

“He hasn’t been a pilot for some time now. And he’s getting old.”

“He would be offended if he heard you refer to him as such.”

“I don’t mean it in that way,” she smiles, touching his cheek and walking past him, her son following just a step behind, “He deserves to be happy. And I know this war hasn’t been easy on him.”

“You don’t like that he’s spent all of his time with the Resistance,” Ben observes, “And since he’s become an admiral…” his eyes narrow, “You don’t like that he’s not socializing, so you’re giving him an out.”

“You know me too well.”

Ben presses his lips together as they walk, reaching out to touch her wrist, “Let me.”

General Organa stops, looking at him in surprise, “You wanna tell him?”

“It would be better coming from me.”

“You’re going to tell him you’re skeptical about it,” she crosses her arms, “Shouldn’t we give them the benefit of the doubt? After all, they’re on the losing side.”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want to.”

“What’s going on?” Rey asks when she joins them where they’re stopped in the hall.

Ben turns to her, “They’ve agreed to a treaty. An arranged marriage.”

Rey makes a face, “But who-” she stops, shaking her head, “He… I don’t know if he’ll be okay with that.”

General Organa smiles as she watches the expression on her son’s face.

“He is the best choice,” her son says, surprising her with the approval, “Most would take it as an insult. Most would also have taken being promoted as an admiral to be a promotion.”

Rey smiles and shrugs, “I think the change was too political to him.”

Ben steps forward and presses his hand to her neck, touching their heads, “I’ll tell him,” he says, then steps around her, “But just in case it is a trap… be prepared for it.”

“Always,” Rey says so low that he almost misses it, but he doesn’t.

He leaves them to speak amongst one another, passing by the left mess hall and the second barracks, out of the building and through another, up a level to the hangar where he knows he’ll find the admiral.

Ben can see the white and orange BB-8 unit whirring and rolling in circles underneath the X-wing as he walks up. And just barely, he can see the feet coming out from the open panel on the bottom of the ship.

“Admiral Dameron.”

“Son of a Banth-oww,” the admiral drops down and steps out from under, his hair slicked from his face with grease and some smearing over his cheeks and forearms, “How long have you been standing there?”

Ben narrows his brows, “I haven’t.”

“Ah, well, okay,” Poe wipes his hands on his pants, “How can I help you, Ben? I’m assuming you’re here on General Organa’s orders.”

“I wanted to be the one to tell you,” Ben assures him, “General Hux has agreed to a peace treaty.”

BB-8 finally stops and joins them, making a sound of surprise.

“Uh huh,” Poe sounds skeptical, “What’s the uh… what’s the bargaining chip?”

Ben stares at him silently for a moment, hands covering one another before him, “You.”

Poe laughs, “Really? Me?”

“You,” Ben continues, tilting his head, “General Organa herself has chosen you to be our contribution to an arranged marriage to represent the peace between the Res-” he stops when Poe spits in his face, almost doubling over with laughter.

He reaches up to wipe his cheek and mouth, frowning at the reaction.

BB-8 rolls back a bit to stare up at their friend.

“I’m getting married with-with-” Poe stops when he sees the expression on Ben’s face, sobering once more, “Okay, right, right. I forget, you don’t tell jokes. So,” he crosses his arms, “General Organa managed to convince them of this?”

“It was her suggestion, yes,” Ben nods, “My mother is… very convincing.”

“Mm, that she is,” Poe agrees, “Why me?”

Ben blinks, looking back up to the X-wing, “You haven’t been the same since you were made admiral,” he says, and then his expression changes, “I know part of that is my fault.”

“I suppose so,” Poe agrees again.

Ben’s gaze drops once more, “The General wants you to do this. Not just for the Resistance, but for yourself.”

“She thinks I can’t find someone to spend the rest of my life with on my own?”

“Yes.”

Poe coughs and looks away, “Right, okay. You’re both probably right.”

“I didn’t say I th-”

“You don’t have to,” Poe leans onto his right leg, putting his balled fists on his hips and sighing, “Okay. You’re… right. Okay, I mean, it’s an order, right?”

Ben frowns, narrowing his eyes, “It /is/ an order. But you can say ‘no’.”

“No,” Poe says, then blinks, holding up his hands, “Not-not… not no, yes. I’ll do it. I mean, I was her first choice, any less would be insulting, wouldn’t it?”

“Perhaps.”

Poe sighs and runs his hand through his hair, “So when’s this agree-arrangement uh… taking place?”

“In one standard week.”

“Great,” Poe holds his arms out, “I guess I’ll tell the crew.”

“Handle them the way you see fit,” Ben agrees, nodding his head, “I’ll return to my mother and let her know you’ve agreed.”

“As if I would’ve done anything else.”

Poe watches as Ben leaves, taking the towel from his shoulder and looking down at himself, then he turns to BB-8, “Well, Beebee, I guess that means I’m engaged… and soon to be retired.”

BB-8 beeps indignantly, turning its attention back to the X-wing, [Partner Poe + Retired = Long overdue!].


	2. FN-2187

Poe doesn’t really get to meet his bride - groom? Poe isn’t really a ladies’ man, but he can do it for the Resistance if he has to. It’s not like he hasn’t been with a few women - to be before the big day. But when he does, he’s both disappointed and not surprised.

A Stormtrooper? Really? They could’ve just as easily picked any old… or new Stormtrooper. The person behind the helmet could be anyone.

Not even someone in a position of power.

That’s what he thinks. That’s his initial thought. And it’s dashed the second he sees the expression General Hux gives the Stormtrooper.

Poe would know that look anywhere. It’s the same one that General Organa - who is standing just behind him - gives her son.

He can practically feel both Ben /and/ Rey tense as the members of the First Order join them.

It’s uncomfortable being this close to what one week ago was perceived as the enemy, but no shots are fired on either side.

“General Hux,” General Organa says, “It’s good to see you today.”

General Hux nods to her, then he motions for the Stormtrooper to step forward, “I considered our agreement for quite some time, I’ll admit. But I came back to my first, initial suggestion. This is Captain FN-2187. He’s quite singular, don’t let the uniform fool you.”

/Captain? He?/ Poe does a double-take, realizing that the armor is not unlike Phasma’s had been, when she was alive. But instead of the silver, his is bronze-colored. And if he’s a Captain… then he’s the new Force-sensitive Captain of the Stormtroopers, which means that he’s the very same that Rey faced just two months ago.

He knew she was tense but he’d just assumed it was because of all the members of the First Order. No doubt she can still feel everything she’d been through the day they won back Jakku.

Poe’s fist grips tight, remembering it himself. They had to take her away on a stretcher. Ben had been furious, had almost come back out onto the battlefield himself, even though the First Order had long abandoned their efforts.

Rey came away from that fight with three scars, the one on her jaw being the only one Poe had ever seen himself.

And this guy… his soon-to-be husband, was the one that had done it to her.

Sure, he was an amazingly skilled fighter. As Hux had said - singular.

Why marry off his absolute best?

FN-2187 stands, helmet on, and steps forward when it’s suggested.

General Hux motions to them, “Go ahead,” he offers, looking to General Organa, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for them to get to know one another while we work over this agreement for the next couple hours.”

General Organa nods and Poe takes that as his queue to leave the room with the Captain of the Stormtroopers.

They both walk through the double doors together, Poe letting out a long breath, his hands on his hips as he looks at the Captain. He clears his throat, shifting feet, “So do you talk?”

The Captain tilts his head, Poe can almost imagine his brows lifting.

“You can, you know,” Poe continues awkwardly, “You can talk. I’m… I’m gonna be your husband in about three hours.”

“I’ve never engaged in what the Resistance refers to as ‘small talk’.”

“It-not-well, it wouldn’t really be ‘small talk’ would it?” Poe holds his arms out, “This is pretty big, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“I’m Poe,” Poe attempts to offer another olive branch, “Poe Dameron, Admiral.”

“I know who you are.”

Poe blinks in surprise, “Y-you do?”

“You were the X-wing Commander,” Captain FN-2187 tells him, “Your new Commander does not fly as well as you had.”

Poe is actually, genuinely surprised by the compliment, “Are you telling me that we would’ve beat you long ago if it wasn’t for me being made admiral?”

The Stormtrooper is silent for a beat, “I… suppose I am.”

“I apologize, but I don’t know you as much as you apparently know me,” Poe admits, “I’ve only really known you since you became their Captain. You’ve killed many of my friends and you almost killed Rey.”

He can see the Stormtrooper tense suddenly. But it’s not like the tense state of someone who’s been had, or found out, or threatened. No. FN-2187 merely changes into a somewhat defensive stance, taking a step back as if preparing for Poe to lift up his gun and begin shooting.

Poe doesn’t, of course.

“An observation,” he says, holding up his hands to show he doesn’t mean harm, “We were enemies. Aren’t we trying to fix that?”

“We are,” FN-2187 says somewhat skeptically.

“Okay, look,” Poe sighs, disappointed with himself that it was his side that was the first to fold and accuse. Where FN-2187 had complimented him, he had… not really insulted, but he’d certainly attacked, “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the way I meant it to. I’m an Admiral, I know better. It’s… it’s just a little hard when all I can see is…”

He motions out to FN-2187.

“Not that that excuses my behaviour,” Poe holds out both hands, “It doesn’t. I should’ve-wait, what are y-you don’t have to do that.”

FN-2187 stops, his hands up to his helmet, “Would it make you… more comfortable… if you could see my face?”

“I? …” Poe ran a hand through his hair, squenching up his face, “I don’t know? Maybe?”

“We’re not supposed to take them off,” FN-2187 says, “Not in front of subordinates, not even peers. And never for members of the Resistance.”

Poe blanches, finally pulling himself together and crossing his arms, “Ah… okay… that’s f-fine. You don’t have to. /Ever/, if you don’t want to. I-it… it was my fault. Again, I’m sorry.”

FN-2187 seems to consider it, then comes to a conclusion, “You should be comfortable, if we’re to be married as a sign of peace between the First Order and the Resistance.”

Poe starts to object, to tell him that he doesn’t have to do it for their sakes, but then the helmet is off and he’s left staring at possibly the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his entire life. He feels guilty for a second, knowing what FN-2187’s done, but immediately pushes it back.

This marriage doesn’t have to be awkward and difficult.

He can allow himself to enjoy the parts of it that are good, and maybe too good to be true.

Who knew Stormtroopers were so attractive.

Poe stares longer than he should, drinking in the dark skin that has probably never seen the light of day; the big, sincere-looking eyes that hold way too much intelligence in them; the luscious lips-

Stormtroopers can’t all be this attractive. He just struck lucky.

“You’re staring.”

Poe blinks, shifting feet out of embarrassment and forcing what he hopes is perceived as a harmless smile, “Sorry, I can’t help it.”

FN-2187 does actually lift a brow this time, “Why’s that?”

“Why?” Poe holds his arms out, “Why? Why not? Have… have you not /seen/ yourself?”

FN-2187 frowns and shakes his head, looking somewhat offended and scared, “No, of course I haven’t. How are you supposed to look at yourself?” he touches his face carefully.

Poe can’t actually believe what he’s hearing, “You-you look in a mirror?”

FN-2187 stops, dropping his hands and standing at ease, “No.”

“Alright,” Poe lets it go, wetting his lips, “I’m sorry about staring. It’s… it’s just… I guess I didn’t expect you to be so beautiful.”

He doesn’t know whether to scoff in disbelief or glare when FN-2187 gives him a look that clearly conveys a sense of skepticism.

“You’re complimenting me,” FN-2187 observes.

Poe chuckles and shrugs, “Uh, yeah, I guess I am. And I don’t mean it to be material. Looks shouldn’t matter… not completely. But I don’t know your personality. I do know your fighting skills. Rey told me you were a… a force to be reckoned with.”

FN-2187’s brows narrow, “You’re right, looks don’t matter. And I have never strived to have what your Resistance calls ‘personality’. I’ve always had high numbers in marksmanship, hand-to-hand combat, and any weaponry I’ve taken up, though.”

“You’ve never strived to have a personality?” Poe asks, frowning, “But… I mean, why not? It’s what makes you unique, it’s what makes you /you/.”

“Any sense of uniqueness was to be reconditioned,” FN-2187 tells him, lowering his voice, “I’m… I guess I should be sorry, if that… if that’s important, if it bothers you.”

Poe’s chest tightens and he shakes his head, “You have to have /some/ kind of uniqueness.”

“I do. In marksmanship, hand-to-hand combat, and an-”

“Other than that,” Poe cuts him off, “What holovids do you like? What’s your favorite food? What position do you like to sleep in? What’s your favorite letter of the alphabet?”

“I don’t watch holovids that aren’t designed for training. I’ve never consumed food that wasn’t processed into a can of Stormtrooper rations. All Stormtroopers sleep on their backs with their hands at their sides. And… I’ve never thought of what my favorite letter of the alphabet was.”

Poe’s heart sinks the more FN-2187 speaks, he’s not upset at the Stormtrooper in front of him, but he’s angry at /something/, “Try?”

FN-2187 narrows his brows, “I… suppose it would be ‘F’... or ‘N’...”

“Because of your number?” Poe asks, almost annoyed. Wow, this guy really /has/ been reconditioned.

“Yes.”

“What’s your name?”

“No name. I’m FN-2187, some of my team called me Eight-Seven.”

“Yeah but…” Poe rubs his chin, then he shakes his head adamantly, “I’m not gonna call you that. That’s just… it’s not a name. What about… Finn. What do you think of that?”

FN-2187 looks confused first, then slowly smiles, “Finn, I-I like it, yeah. Yeah, you… you can call me that.”

Poe smiles as well, his heart racing when he sees the other man’s face light up like the sun. Oh, stars, he might actually be a goner, “You like it? Okay, good,” he tries to calm his heart, resting his hand on his chest, “See? That’s a start. I know what they conditioned you for, but this marriage will be very different from anything you’ve done. If we want it to work out, at least.”

“I want it to work out,” Finn tells him and Poe actually thinks he’s sincere (he certainly looks it).

“Me too,” Poe says, chuckling as he puts his hands back on his hips, pushing his jacket back, “I gotta tell you, Finn, you are a real sight for sore eyes.”

“You’re talking about how I look again.”

“I am,” Poe responds, still grinning, “I feel like it’s something you haven’t heard much of. But you are absolutely gorgeous. Don’t be surprised if I say it about five times a day.”

Finn lifts his brows, “Do I say ‘thank you’?”

Poe laughs, throwing his head back, “I mean, you can. Although I feel like I should be the one saying it.”

Finn looks flustered, raising a hand to touch the back of his head, “You’re exaggerating. I don’t know why you keep complimenting me.”

“Does it make you feel anything?” Poe asks, tentative with how he handles this guy. For someone that has killed so many people… he seems very delicate, “Does it bother you?”

“No,” Finn tells him, “It doesn’t bother me. It feels… nice. I-but I’m not used to that.”

“You should be.”

“You’re very attractive, too.”

Poe smirks, “Yeah, you think so?” he flirts. Stars, he’s flirting with a Stormtrooper. His future husband, but still a Stormtrooper.

“/I/ think so, yes,” Finn admits sheepishly, “I’ve… I’ve seen your picture. I-” he stops, and then Poe can just barely make out a blush forming on his cheeks.

When he doesn’t continue, Poe lifts his brows, “No, you were doing good. Go on. Please.”

“I… was just going to say-” Finn drops his hand from his neck, around to his mouth, covering it, “I’ve seen your picture before. A few times. I’ve always thought you were handsome.”

Poe is downright grinning, “Nice to know someone was looking.”

“I tried not to look.”

“Can’t have you falling for a Resistance pilot, now could we?”

“We don’t really…” Finn presses his lips together, sighing finally and moving to take a seat against one of the walls, his helmet still in his hand as his other gloved hand goes to his face and he leans his elbow on his knee.

Poe swallows and walks over to take the seat beside him, speaking lowly, “You wanna talk about it?”

“I shouldn’t.”

Poe hears the shaking in Finn’s voice and at first he thinks he’s managed to make the Captain of the Stormtroopers cry. But then he realizes it for what it really is. Fear.

“It can stay between you and me,” Poe says, his voice just above a whisper, “If you’re-you don’t have to say anything, either. You don’t have to tell me. But I… I wanna help, if I can.”

Finn slowly pulls his hand from his eyes, “We’re not conditioned to find attraction. I should’ve said something when I did, but it seemed harmless. And it was fleeting. We don’t see the enemy list often, and it’s not something we can go back to or look at when we want to. I try to look at them all objectively. All dangerous, all enemies.”

“You can’t really help feeling things like that,” Poe empathizes, somewhat nervous with the way Finn is speaking about him. He gets a flash there for a second where he imagines Finn as a programmed soldier, snapping and attacking him or taking the blaster from his side and blowing Poe’s brains out.

“I should’ve been reconditioned.”

Poe feels the pain sting in his chest. It’s weird, unfamiliar, uncharted territory, feeling pain for this Stormtrooper, “You…” he bites his lip, “You’re /not/ just a Stormtrooper anymore, okay? We’re at peace. We’ve been reassigned together. We’re getting married in less than two hours. Our entire lives are changing… together. Which means you and I are the only things that matter. No more reconditioning, no more feeling guilty, no more orders. Do you understand?”

Finn looks up from his hands, stares long into Poe’s eyes and shakes his head, “I don’t know.”

Instinctively, Poe’s hand moves to Finn’s cheek and he leans in just enough, “Breathe with me, okay,” he says, tone soft, “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re not alone.”

Put him in the room with a Stormtrooper for less than half an hour and he can apparently turn them into this.

Poe feels guilty about it, but he also feels that anger from before.

“Breathe with me.”

Finn closes his eyes when their foreheads touch, breathing deeply and Poe watches him, his other hand moving to Finn’s other cheek.

“I thought… I’ve… it… we don’t question assignments,” Finn says tentatively, voice still shaking, “But I don’t know if I’m a good fit for this.”

“You’re a great fit, you’ll be fine,” Poe tells him, smiling sadly, “It’s just like you said it was, okay? Fleeting. And that was that. You’ve been an outstanding Captain. But we are at /peace/ now, we need to change, adapt.”

Finn finally seems to calm down, opening his eyes again to look at Poe and he touches the back of Poe’s right hand with his left, the gloved fingers trembling, “Adapt.”

“That’s right, buddy,” Poe says and chuckles, “You’ll be okay. I’m here. We’re a team now.”

“We’re a team?”

“A team,” Poe nods, “It means that no matter what we were before, we now have each other’s backs. I watch yours, you watch mine. We protect one another.”

“Like a unit.”

“Just like one.”

Finn goes silent, breathing, their heads still close, and then he drops his helmet to the ground, “I’ve never-no one has ever-”

“What?”

Finn pulls back to look at Poe, “I’ve never felt someone else’s skin before. You’re really warm.”

Poe blushes, “Does /that/ bother you?”

“Not really,” Finn admits, “It’s nice. But it’s weird, I don’t have anything to compare it to. Other than a warm Blaster.”

“So you’ve never been with another person? Not even a Stormtrooper?”

Finn finally drops his hand, the moment calming back down to the level it had been before, “I… not like this.”

“What about sex?”

“Procreation?” Finn asks, glancing at him and shaking his head, “No. I have no offspring.”

There are about sixty questions that spawn from that statement, none of which Poe feels like should be asked at this precise moment.

So he goes with the easy one.

“Kissing?”

“What’s kissing?”

Poe’s mouth drops open, “Uhhhh… what you do to seal the agreement on a /wedding/, maybe?”

Finn’s brows narrow, “Is it a tradition? What does it entail?”

Poe starts chuckling nervously, “You don’t know what kissing is. When two people press their lips together?”

“Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?”

“No.”

“I’m not following you.”

Poe scrabbles a hand through his hair, “How do you know what mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is but you don’t know what kissing is?”

Finn shrugs, “I’m not a member of the Resistance. I’m a soldier. My conditioning is… specific.”

“No kidding.”

“I’ve never given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation either,” Finn admits, “I’ve only ever had my helmet off a couple of times in front of others, during times of combat and… once there was a Kowakian monkey-lizard.”

Poe makes a face and then chuckles, “So I take it not even your soldiers know how stupidly, incredibly attractive you are?”

“No, they don’t,” Finn agrees. From anyone else, he might’ve thought they were joking and playing around with that kind of comment. But Finn is taking what Poe has told him as a fact. He isn’t questioning it now that Poe’s explained it enough. And good on him. About time someone told him what’s what.

“I don’t want my first kiss with you to be awkward and in front of a woman that is practically like a mother to me,” Poe says then, narrowing his brows, “Not to mention Rey, and Ben, and all of your guys too.”

“Is it bad?”

“Not like that.”

“Then why not?”

“Because it’s something…” Poe throws his arms out, back and forth a few times, “Intimate, it’s something that is normally done behind closed doors, or when I’m leaving for a long time. It’s something that by the time two people get married they’ve done hundreds and thousands of times. In the morning when they wake up, leaving the house, making jokes, while they’re having sex.”

“All of these at the same-”

“Different times,” Poe blushes, “People do it a lot.”

Finn nods slowly, glancing around, “No one’s here now.”

Poe lifts a brow, but then chuckles, “What, you want us to start kissing while they’re in their meeting?”

Finn shrugs, “You said you didn’t want your first to be-”

“I don’t,” Poe sighs and drops his shoulder against the wall, his whole body still turned to Finn, “But it’s weird, you know?”

“I don’t,” Finn repeats Poe’s own words back to him.

“We just met one another,” Poe motions to them both, “And you’re young. You’ve never kissed anyone.”

“We’re supposed to at the wedding, though.”

Poe sits back upright, “Okay, point taken, let’s do this,” he rolls his shoulders, wetting his lips almost instinctively, “Let’s deflower those… really nice lips you have.”

Finn blushes, hands in his lap.

Before he can say or do anything more, Poe leans in, one hand touching his chin, and pressing their lips together. He smirks when Finn gasps, just before Poe steals his breath.

It’s been a while since Poe has kissed anyone, the slide of their lips is something both familiar and unfamiliar to him. He feels sparks light up his fingertips, the surface of his skin, every hair on his head, his heart racing. Finn trembles against him, but then the gloved hands reach up, tentatively grabbing the lapels of his jacket and drawing him in closer.

He allows it, he’ll probably let Finn do just about anything he wants right now. More so when he hears the soft, weak whimper escape Finn as he kisses back.

Eventually, with a little difficulty, they pull apart and Poe realizes he’s nearly seated himself in Finn’s lap. He shifts back, fixing his jacket and his hair as he tries to bring himself back down. Whew, yeah, it’s certainly been a while.

“Not bad, huh?” he stops when he sees the tears on Finn’s cheeks, “Hey, hey, was that okay?” he touches one of the large droplets.

“It… was…” Finn nods, “Yeah, it was okay.” He clears his throat, wiping his face hurriedly, “I… I see why we’re never told about something like that.”

“Too good?”

“I don’t know if we’d ever be able to do anything else.”

Poe laughs, shrugging, “Yeah, well, there’s other things, too.”

Finn looks at him with wide eyes, “Other things? Things better than that?”

“Oh yeah.”

“I don’t believe it,” Finn says and then challenges, “Like what?”

“I think we’ll talk about them after the whole wedding and everything,” Poe nudges him with his elbow, “And maybe after we get to know one another more.”

“Sounds good to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic is already fully posted elsewhere (almost 20k words). For full releases at once, check out my tumblr @ Bigdealrebel!


	3. Mirror Image

The marriage goes off without a hitch. It’s quick and a little impersonal, especially with the stilted, standard vows that people only say when they don’t know what else to say, but Finn doesn’t falter. In fact, he keeps his eyes on Poe the entire time. It isn’t difficult to return the sentiment.

Once they’re married, things become momentarily political. Pictures are taken of them, there are also a few interviews, most of which Finn spends with his helmet on. Poe feels a little silly sitting behind him, but less so now that he knows what Finn looks like.

The real challenges start when General Hux takes his leave of them and Finn and Poe are passed off - to be the responsibility of the Resistance.

But General Organa doesn’t miss a step, setting them up in a newly constructed home just a few miles from their base of operations. It’s enough space that they have privacy, but not so much that Poe can’t leave when and if he’s needed.

Poe’s things have already been packed and sit just inside the door when they walk in and General Organa lingers for a few minutes before parting ways, giving Poe a knowing look before letting the door close behind herself.

Poe looks around the building, their house… home, and clears his throat. Then he smiles when he notices a few packages beside his own, “Looks like they realized you would need a change of clothes or two.”

Finn looks at them as well, “Clothes?”

Poe motions to himself, “Yeah, something like these.”

“I’m not joining the Resistance.”

“Of course not, buddy, but you still gotta wear clothes,” Poe says and chuckles.

“That’s a uniform, right?” Finn asks, looking Poe up and down.

“These are civies,” Poe motions to himself, “Civilian clothing.” He sifts through the duffle and pulls out a few things, pointing to each of them, “This is my Resistance uniform, pilot, admiral,” he lists off each.

Finn watches, eyes widening, “You have four different uniforms?”

“Three uniforms,” Poe corrects him, then motions to himself again, “These are civies. Regular-wear. Something that anyone non-affiliated would wear.”

“But your jacket-”

Poe takes off his jacket, “It’s a little of both. I just like it,” he says and smiles, “I hate the damn thing, but I like it.”

“It’s not part of a uniform?”

“Not really.”

“And these are… civies, for me?” Finn asks, stepping to the aforementioned box, “I’m… meant to wear… something else?”

“Something other than your Stormtrooper uniform?” Poe asks, then nods, “Yes. Definitely.”

Finn seems unsure, “Should I wear them now?”

“Let me show you,” Poe leans down to pick up one of the boxes and offering it to Finn, “These are boots,” he taps the small bar on the bottom where it shows an image, then he holds it out, “Go ahead.”

Finn opens it, his expression tight, as though preparing for it to explode or for something to jump out of it. But he stops and looks down at them, “Oh, huh,” he looks at Poe’s, “These don’t look anything like yours.”

Poe chuckles, “That’s the point of civies, they’re all different.”

“Oh,” Finn says and takes the package that Poe gives him, looking at the bar again, “A shirt?” he opens it, tugging the shirt from it as it stretches out.

After a few minutes of opening them, Finn has three different outfits and has set them out in the order that he opened them.

“Okay, now what?”

“You change.”

Finn frowns, “Which ones do I put on?”

“Whichever ones you want,” Poe says, crossing his arms over his chest in amusement, “But one of each, of course,” he advises when he sees Finn pick up two shirts. It only bothers him slightly that Finn picks up the first shirt, first pair of pants, first socks, and first underwear.

“Now what?”

Poe laughs, helping him to set them aside and moves the rest, “Now you change into-” he stops when Finn sets down everything in a pile and quickly starts taking off armor. He barely has time to react to what’s happening when he realizes that Finn is going to undress completely in front of him. “Oh, okay,” he turns away, cheeks heating.

He hears Finn finish undressing and then the long pause.

“I don’t know what goes on first.”

Oh, of course.

“Okay,” Poe breathes, “The underwear, then the pants, then the shirt, then the socks, and last the boots.”

Finn doesn’t respond, but Poe hears him shuffle behind him and, in less time than it /should/ take someone, Finn tells him he’s finished.

Poe half thinks he’ll turn around and everything will be wrong or messed up or backwards, instead his breath catches and he slowly drops back to take a seat on the chair against the wall to stare and look over the other man. Stars, this is his husband.

This amazingly beautiful man is his husband.

“What? Is it bad?” Finn turns around and Poe nearly whimpers when he sees the curve of the slacks, “You’re not laughing.”

“You look good,” Poe finally manages out, shaking his head, “Stars, you look really good.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Poe stands back up and moves over to Finn, grabbing one of his hands and tugging him in, the action surprises Finn at first, but Poe is thankful that he doesn’t pull away when their lips meet.

Finn hums and then makes a sound of complaint when Poe keeps it short.

“Lesson two,” Poe taps his bottom lip, “There are different kinds of kisses.”

Finn stares at him, smiling, “You don’t know how many?”

“I’ve never really counted.”

“Which one was that one?”

“That one,” Poe moves to his things, stepping out of his shoes, “Was a little kiss I like to call the ‘casual kiss’. It’s the kind used when your husband looks good and you don’t have time to express it.”

“And the kiss before?”

Poe stands back upright, taking most of his bags with him, “That’s the ‘first kiss’, of course.”

“Okay, but if it wasn’t the ‘first kiss’, would that have been considered anything else? Will they ever be like that again?”

“Oh yeah,” Poe points to Finn’s feet, “Also, a third lesson?”

“Yeah?”

“Shoes off in the house.”

“Oh,” Finn looks to Poe’s feet, unlacing his boots and stepping out of them, “So leave them…?”

“At the door,” Poe tells him, nudging them over beside his and then leading Finn through the house, “This is our room.”

Finn looks around it, “It’s so spacious.”

“Yeah, well-”

“There’s one bed.”

“Yup.”

Poe gives Finn what /should/ be bedroom eyes, but the clueless look on Finn’s face reminds him that Finn wouldn’t even begin to know how to interpret such a thing.

He moves to the bed and sets his stuff down, going through it, “Get your things from the other room.”

“My things?”

“Clothes, leave the boots out there.”

* * *

Together, they spend the next hour putting things away and exploring the rest of the house. The cabinets are stocked, the fresher has towels for them, just about everything they might need. And after explaining what a bathtub is to Finn, Poe walks back into their shared room.

“I just don’t see the point.”

“Ah, you don’t see it now, but you will,” Poe nudges him, “Give it time and I’ll show you each and every way you now have the freedom to luxuriate.”

“Seems selfish.”

“It is… a little. But that’s what fighting in a war is all about. It’s about the moments you have to yourself, to be /able/ to spoil yourself, to enjoy life.”

Finn shakes his head, “That’s not what I was taught.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for. I’ll show you how to enjoy things.”

Poe starts to head from the room when Finn lets out a shriek of horror. He runs back in where Finn is standing in the refresher, “Everything okay?”

Finn stares silently, reaching out to the mirror in stunned fascination.

“Oh,” Poe’s brows jump up his forehead and he chuckles, “Uh… well, this is a mirror. Finn… meet Finn.”

“This is what you’ve been looking at?” Finn mutters, sounding confused.

“Sure is. Like a work of art, right?” Poe winks.

Finn makes a face and finally looks away from the mirror, “Not really my type, I guess.”

Poe laughs, slapping Finn on the back, “I guess that’s where we differ,” his cheeks heat and he clears his throat, “Vastly.”

“I’m glad you like the way I look.”

Poe meets his gaze again just as Finn’s index finger touches his lips and he drops his folded arms, shifting away from the door frame and motioning back to the other room, “Dinner?”

“Sure.”

“Something light for our first night, I think,” Poe muses aloud as they walk into the kitchen. He prepares a few sandwiches, Finn watching him in stunned fascination as he does so.

Poe leans over and kisses him on the cheek

Finn touches his cheek, taking one of the sandwiches that Poe offers, “What kind was that?”

“Uh, it’s… it’s a little bit of a few things,” Poe points, “Plankton spread, manpha-fowl meat, dianoga cheese, revwien lettuce, and topatos on five blossom bread.”

“I meant the kiss.”

Poe laughs and blushes, “That’s a peck,” he takes a bite of his sandwich and hums in pleasure, closing his eyes as he chews.

He hears Finn do the same from his side, “Oh, oh my-oh!” Finn sputters, and then there are sounds Poe can only describe as being somewhat lude and he finally opens his eyes to look at Finn. He blanches, looking around, “Where’s your sandwich?”

Finn simply moans a few times, licking his fingers in a way that makes parts of Poe stir in interest and he clears his throat. Finn looks at him, “Sorry, what?”

“Did you already eat it?”

“It was amazing, yes.”

“Want… another?”

Finn shakes his head, “I don’t wanna eat your ration.”

Poe laughs and turns to make another sandwich, taking a bite of his to hold him off.

The second sandwich is devoured just as quickly, only this time Poe watches. Half in disgust and astonishment, the other half in arousal. To the point where he has to take a seat at the counter, pulling out one of the stools once he’s put everything away.

“You good there, buddy?”

“That was… the most amazing thing I’ve ever had in my mouth,” Finn says and Poe chokes on his sandwich, thanking Finn when he starts patting his back to help him out, “Stormtrooper rations have absolutely nothing on that.. That… what was it?”

“A sandwich?”

“Amazing.”

Poe smiles, “Well, all I’ve wanted was a man that doesn’t complain about my cooking… or preparing, rather. I didn’t really cook anything.”

“You could make me that every single day for the rest of my life and I think I’ll be good.”

“Let’s not go that far, I gotta have some variety in my food.”

“I can’t believe they feed us what they feed us when there are things like that out there,” Finn shakes his head in disappointment, “Although I guess it isn’t as practical as carrying a can of rations.”

“Pack it to go,” Poe says and shrugs, “You don’t have to eat it once it’s made. It can sit for a while.”

Finn nods slowly, “Man, to think no Stormtrooper even… even knows about this, about any of it. I haven’t even told you how comfortable /clothes/ are.”

Poe winks at him, “Just you wait until you put on a pair of pajamas.”

“Pajamas? What’s pajamas?”

“Sleepwear.”

“The fourth pair of pants you got, the striped ones.”

Finn watches Poe as he finishes off his sandwich, “I thought they looked weird in comparison,” he muses aloud, “When is shower scheduled for?”

“Whenever you want, buddy.”

“Whenever…” Finn looks somewhat taken aback, “Whenever I want?”

“Yeah,” Poe nods, “You can go now, while I clean up. Or you can go tomorrow morning, whenever you want.”

Finn considers it and gets up from his seat, “I’ll shower now.”

“Sounds good, just make sure when you finish to change into the pajama pants,” Poe explains, wiping a dab of plankton spread from his lip, “No point changing back into what you’re wearing, since it’s so late.”

He finishes up in the kitchen once Finn’s left, cleaning up after himself and stops when he sees Finn, already showered and dressed for bed, answering his com.

Poe practically glues himself to the wall, out of the light of the room. As much as he shouldn’t listen in, he does.

_“You’re not in uniform.”_

_“I ask for forgiveness,”_ Finn says, _“The custom wear in my current environment-”_

_“Keep your excuses to yourself. How is the target?”_

_“Target?”_

_“The husband. Poe Dameron.”_

_“Oh, Poe,”_ Finn clears his throat, _“The… uh… the target is… uh…”_

Poe hears the unmistakable sigh from General Hux.

_“One day with them and you’ve forgotten basic training?”_ he growls out, _“Do not stammer.”_

_“Sorry… sorry, he… uh,”_ Finn clears his throat again, _“He’s… good?”_

_“Do not disappoint me, FN-2187.”_

_“I will /not/ disappoint you, sir,”_ Finn says, sounding more confident now, _“We have settled next to the Resistance base, the marriage was a success.”_

_“Good,”_ General Hux responds, pleased by this information, _“Keep up appearances. Further orders will come.”_

Poe hears the comlink end and looks down, swallowing tightly, his heart racing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic is already fully posted elsewhere (almost 20k words). For full releases at once, check out my tumblr @ Bigdealrebel!


	4. Afterglow

He waits for Finn to put the com away and continues down the hall as though he hadn’t just been eavesdropping, “Hey,” he says, noting how Finn startles only slightly, “Done already?”

Finn nods, smiling sheepishly and now he doesn’t look so innocent to Poe, “Standard showering time is sixty seconds. If you take longer than that, you’re wasting everyone else’s time.”

“Not here, bud,” Poe slaps his shoulder, “Here you can take twenty minutes if you want.”

“Not necessary.”

“You’ll see,” Poe winks at him, “Ready for bed?”

“I suppose I could go to sleep.”

Poe moves to the closet to get out his own pajamas, changing quickly, “How many hours are Stormtroopers expected to sleep?”

“Four hours,” Finn answers somewhat crisply, the tone likely leftover from his talk with General Hux.

“Ouch, yeah, that ain’t gonna happen here,” Poe says as he shuts out the light, walking around and climbing onto his side of the bed, “Seven hours. Gotta, otherwise I don’t function like a human being.”

Finn climbs onto the bed as well, “Wh-aaaat is this bed made out of?” he asks, almost in slow motion as his head drops to the pillow.

“Good?” Poe asks, chuckling, feeling a little of the tense air ease down.

“Almost as good as the sandwich.”

“That was nothing, wait til I cook you something.”

“Is this all what you meant when you said there were things better than kissing?”

Poe shifts a little closer to Finn, turning onto his side, “Uhm, actually, no. Not at all.”

“Ah,” he can see Finn clearly, the expression of surprise and curiosity, “Then what did you mean by that? I don’t see what else there is.”

“Well,” Poe takes a breath, preparing himself for this, “There’s masturbation - pleasuring yourself with your hand, hand jobs - someone else doing it for you, blow jobs - someone else using their mouth, rimming… which is… we’ll get to that… maybe,” he feels his cheeks getting redder and redder with every word, “Then there’s also frottage, foreplay, sex… and that’s not including everything you can /do/ with sex.”

“I don’t understand,” Finn says, “I don’t know most of what you said. But you talk about procreation like it’s… like you do it… like you do it-”

“For fun?”

“Yeah.”

Poe smiles wide, “That’s /exactly/ what I’m saying.”

“But it’s just procreation.”

“No, hear me out,” Poe tries to explain, “Procreation is between a man and a woman - mostly - but sex is the act you do to attain such a thing. But you don’t have to only have sex for procreation.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“The point is that it feels amazing. About a thousand times better than kissing,” Poe tells him, “It’s raw and real and intimate. Some people have sex with multiple partners, multiple times a day. But we’re married. So it would uh… would just be between us.”

“One problem.”

Poe chuckles, leaning on his arm, “Yeah, buddy?”

“I don’t know a-about you,” Finn admits, “I’m sure you’re… male?”

“I am.”

“So am I.”

Poe blinks, waiting for Finn to explain, but Finn doesn’t, “Okay, what’s the problem?”

“Neither of us would have a vagina in order to pro-to… to have sex,” Finn tells him. Almost in a tone like the one you use when you tell a kid that they can’t ride their speeder inside the house. Like it should be obvious.

“Sex doesn’t only work that way.”

Finn seems to relax at that, nodding slowly, “Okay, so… how and were do we start?”

Poe smiles and moves a little closer still, “Well, I don’t think we should rush right into uh… right into sex,” he says, “You’ve only just had your first kiss. But you’ve masturbated before, at least, right?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

Poe frowns.

“Mastur-,” he stops, “Jerking off? You know, when your penis gets hard and you touch it until white stuff comes out?”

“I know what an erection and ejaculation is,” Finn says, “All of that involves procreation, and women. Ejaculation is sperm.”

Poe groans and drops his forehead to Finn’s shoulder, “That’s… mostly kind of right?”

“What’s wrong about it? It seems pretty straightforward.”

“Finn,” Poe touches Finn’s chest, pulling up to look into his eyes, “Just… trust me, okay? Yes, ejaculate is sperm, which when inserted into a woman can - yes - make them pregnant. But having an orgasm - ejaculation - does /not/ ever require a woman. Nor does it require the need to procreate.”

Finn blinks, “Really?”

“Can I show you?”

Finn makes a face, “Does it feel-”

“It feels /amazing/.”

“Okay, then yes,” Finn nods hurriedly, “You’re… you’re my husband, you should… I mean, I want you to. But can we also kiss again? I liked doing that and I actually know what it’s like-”

“We are going to be doing a /lot/ of kissing,” Poe assures him, leaning in to do just that, “A man like you should be kissed every minute of every day.”

The second the words are out, he remembers the conversation he overheard. And it’s difficult to forget that Finn /is/ a Stormtrooper, the Captain, and he might still actually be the enemy. But Poe pushes those fears aside. Enemy or not, he’s also very clueless and innocent, and this should be done right.

Poe can’t just be with him and not give him his all. He hates it, he’s scared of it, but he can already feel himself falling in love with Finn.

And he’s falling hard.

Finn moans into the kiss, grabbing Poe, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer, then into his lap. Poe can feel all eight fingers tangling in his hair as it deepens, their bodies pressing together.

And then Finn flips him over, the kiss turning hungry and desperate. It’s almost painful, but in the best way possible. He didn’t expect Finn to have so much confidence so fast, but stars in the sky, there’s no way he would ever complain.

Poe drops his hands down, pushing them under his pajamas and grabbing the swell of each ass cheek to pull him down and grind their bodies together.

Finn pulls back just as the hard shape of his erection rubs Poe’s hip, “That’s a thing that people do?”

“Yes?” Poe breathes, face red, “Grab your ass? Yes,” he confirms, “Take off your pajamas.”

“Take them off?”

“You got it, buddy.”

Finn slips them off quickly, starting to fold them when Poe grabs them and tosses them away.

“No time for that, come’re,” Poe pulls him back down, arching his body to take off his own pajamas.

Finn is silent above him as Poe throws them out from under the covers as well, and when he looks back up to meet his gaze he sees the eyes on his body.

“I… can we… nevermind.”

“No, no,” Poe touches his chin to lift his gaze, “What is it? Ask me, please.”

Finn meets his eyes, “I just… I want to see.”

“Oh,” Poe chuckles and reaches out to turn the wall light on, laying back down, “Look all you want. Just don’t be surprised if I do the same.”

He stays still as Finn touches him, touches his chest, running his fingers through the hair on his pecs, down his stomach.

“Is it still a kiss if it’s not on the lips?”

Poe lifts his brows, “With your mouth? Yeah, it’s still a kiss.”

“Can I kiss you in other places?”

Poe swallows, something so innocent shouldn’t be so arousing, “Uh, yeah, go ahead. You can kiss me where ever you want.”

As if the question was surprising, it’s more so when Finn leans down and presses his lips just over Poe’s heart. And then he starts kissing everywhere, all over his torso, his shoulders, the insides of his arms, down to his palm and fingers and then back to his lips.

Poe blinks slowly, watching him and letting him know when anything feels particularly good.

“Okay,” Finn breathes, smiling, “I think I’m done kissing you everywhere for the moment. Sorry, I just… I-”

“Don’t apologize,” Poe says, touching his cheek, “You ready to experience one of the best feelings the galaxy has to offer?”

Finn looks confused first, then nods, “Was it called… masturbation?”

Poe nods.

“Can I see you do it first?”

“Oh, fuck,” Poe mutters and shifts slightly on the mattress, “Yeah, okay. You can watch.”

Finn sits back a little, enough to probably look at all of him.

Poe’s never had a lover that wanted to watch him touch himself, but it doesn’t bother him. He turns, curiously checking the drawer by the bed and crowing in amusement, “Okay, I don’t know who put this here, but they’re either my best friend or a total jerk.”

“What is it?”

“Necessary,” Poe lays back, and then shows the extremely large bottle of lube to Finn, “For you and I to be able to have sex, and have it feel good. But it’s also good for masturbation.”

“How do you apply it?” Finn asks.

Poe takes the bottle back, popping it open and pouring a little out in his hand, “Always warm it up, otherwise…” he shrugs, warming the liquid in his palm and then he grasps his cock. He smirks when Finn’s mouth drops open and then he starts moving his hand up and down.

It takes Finn almost a minute before he leans in, touching Poe’s hand to see how hard he’s holding himself. His eyes are wide and curious as always, meeting Poe’s eyes.

“That feels good?”

“Really good,” Poe breathes, toes curling, “So good.”

“You do it often?”

“Daily, if I can.”

“That good?”

Poe nods, “Second best only to sex, really… and… well I guess there’s also the other thing.”

Finn lifts a brow, “What other thing?”

“Blow job.”

“What’s that?”

“Stars, Finn,” Poe whimpers when Finn’s hand joins his, attempting to do the same, “I-it’s… this… but… with your mouth.”

“I don’t think it’d fit in my mouth,” Finn says, then he thumbs the head, wiping the precum and tasting it curiously.

And that’s it, that’s the last straw.

Poe groans and cums hard, cock pulsating in their shared grip as Poe drops his shoulders back on the bed, “Ah, shit.”

Finn smiles slowly, “Yeah, I definitely wanna try that,” he shifts closer, the fronts of his thighs slapping the backs of Poe’s, “You’ve convinced me.”

“Yeah?” Poe asks, realizing how whorishly sprawled out he is before Finn, but he doesn’t bother moving or covering up. He’s not embarrassed. And, after all, this /is/ supposed to be his husband.

He watches Finn touch himself and that’s when Poe gets a good look at his cock. It’s… intimidating. Just a bit. It’s long and thick and honestly beautiful. But Poe realizes the difficulty Finn’s having at once. His cut skin certainly changes it up.

“It’s different,” he reaches out to show Finn, but he doesn’t tell him /why/ it’s different. He couldn’t do that to the other man, not with knowing everything else.

“Poe,” Finn breathes out as Poe shows him how to work the head.

Almost at once, his body starts trembling violently. He has less than a split second to brace when Finn cums. Poe feels some land on his chest, his lip, his lashes, in his hair, the bulk of it pooling with his on his stomach.

Finn hisses as Poe squeezes the last globs out, “Ho-ly… Poe.”

Poe looks down at the mess on himself and chuckles, “Guess you were all backed up, huh?” he looks up and smiles sincerely when he sees the tears on Finn’s face again, “You good, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Finn all but whispers, “Yeah… I’m… I’m good.”

“Think you can walk?”

“Yeah, why?”

Poe reaches up to run a hand over Finn’s chest, “Most important lesson after feeling so good. Enjoy the afterglow, but clean up after.”

“Afterglow?”

Poe pulls him down beside him, careful not to spread the mess as he kisses Finn.

Something must happen that spurs Finn more, causing him to groan into the kiss and he takes Poe’s bottom lip, nibbling on it.

Poe groans in approval, head dropping back.

“Sorry, I-that was weird?”

“No, stars, no,” Poe says quickly, “That was good, /really/ good.”

Finn smiles, “Good?”

Poe nods, “Really good,” he leans in and repeats the action to Finn, letting go as he drags his teeth over the swollen skin of Finn’s bottom lip.

They get a little carried away, but Poe raises a hand to stop them.

“We gotta clean up, this is gonna get gross if we don’t,” Poe motions down to his stomach.

“How do we clean it?”

“Refresher, small hand towel, damp with warm water.”

“You got it.”

Before Poe can say another word, Finn is up from the bed and quickly back, cleaning him up carefully and then walking into the refresher once more to rinse out the hand towel.

Poe’s drifting off when Finn joins him in bed, wrapping his arms around Poe.

“Is this okay?” he asks, voice so low Poe almost doesn’t hear it.

“It’s just us,” Poe chuckles, “You don’t have to whisper, and yeah… this is nice.”

“So that was it, huh?”

Poe hums and turns into Finn’s arms, “Mhm, well, not all of it. But that was a good deal of the important stuff. Not half bad, huh?”

Finn nods, “It was good. How do you not spend eighteen hours a day masturbating?”

“Lots of self control.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic is already fully posted elsewhere (almost 20k words). For full releases at once, check out my tumblr @ Bigdealrebel!


	5. Nightmares

Some time in the middle of the night, Poe wakes up from a nightmare, opening his eyes and stilling when he sees Finn above him.

“How long have you been awake?” Poe asks tentatively.

“I only sleep four hours.”

Poe nods, turning against him, “I can’t do that. How long’s it been.”

“Long enough for me to realize how vulnerable you are in your sleep,” Finn says, “Anyone could come in here and kill you.”

Poe frowns, starts to respond when a hand closes around his throat, choking him as Finn moves over him.

“You rebel scum,” Finn hisses, “You’re so soft. So soft and vulnerable.”

“F-ffff-” Poe gurgles, reaching up to try and fight Finn off, but he’s outmatched entirely. He’s a pilot, Finn’s bulging muscles remind him of that.

“Finn? That stupid name you gave me?” Finn laughs, his face morphing, “FN-2187. I’ve been a Stormtrooper most of my life, I’ve killed your friends. You really think I’m so innocent? You really think this could ever end in peace? That we’d get married and live happily ever after?”

“Finn!” Poe croaks.

The hands let go finally, only for Finn to point a blaster to Poe’s head, “Such a gullible sap,” he says, his other hand reaching up, holding Poe down with the force, “Falling for poor, innocent Finn. Innocent Finn that’s never kissed someone, never-you’re an idiot.”

Poe swallows tightly, closing his eyes shut as the blaster trigger is pulled-

He wakes, paralyzed with fear.

The only sound in the room is his own panting, his heart beating loud in his ear.

Poe opens his eyes, confused for a second when he remembers Finn and realizes that the heart beats he’s hearing are not his own.

He glances up, startled when he sees Finn staring down at him with wide eyes.

“You had a nightmare,” Finn says, frowning and rubbing his back.

Poe blushes, “Uh… uh… yeah. I didn’t make any sounds, did I?”

“Not a lot.”

“Did I wake you up?”

The strong, large arms tighten around him, “No,” Finn says and Poe’s surprised when he feels the soft touch to his cheek. He glances up, opening his mouth, but he can’t speak.

Finn rolls them, pressing him to the bed and hovering over him. For a second, Poe flashes back to his nightmare, to the twisted look on Finn’s face. Is he a fool? Is he gullible to believe this? To want this?

And then Finn’s kissing, over and over and over again, their bodies flush, mouths meeting until he’s light-headed and the nightmare is completely behind him, forgotten. Until his heart aches and his lungs ache and his whole body trembles.

Finn cups his face with one hand, the other holding him up as he kisses Poe silly.

* * *

When Poe wakes up in the morning it’s in a similar way, except for the entire nightmare thing. He’s stirred awake by the soft comb of fingers in his hair first, shortly followed by kisses, kisses on his temple and cheek, along his jaw.

Poe lifts his brows, “How long have you been awake?”

“A few hours,” Finn tells him, his free hand coming down to rest over Poe’s heart, “I tried to sleep more, but… well…”

“We’ll get you there,” Poe smiles slightly, finally opening his eyes, “You stayed in bed?”

“I worked out a bit,” Finn admits, “You sleep through just about anything.”

Poe tenses.

Finn chuckles, a sound Poe hasn’t really heard just yet, “So I went on a jog, came back, and when I came to check on you…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know,” Finn shrugs, “You just looked really peaceful and beautiful.”

“How long have you actually been back in bed?”

“About ten minutes.”

Poe stretches, feeling the hand slide down from his chest to his stomach. He fully expects it to go lower, but it stops there.

“What’s this from?”

He glances down at the scar, “Ah, shrapnel breaking free in the cockpit of my X-wing.”

Finn frowns at the admission and he moves down, kissing it a few times, enough to make Poe’s chest tighten. And then he climbs back up, sitting in Poe’s lap.

They stare at one another for a long moment and then Finn leans in and kisses him.

Poe is quickly coming to realize that Finn loves kissing. His lips are still a little worn and swollen from his mid-sleep wake up from the worst nightmare he could’ve imagined having, but he doesn’t stop Finn or protest in any way.

Again, Finn’s hands roam over him and he expects them to go south… but they don’t.

Finn finally gets up, walking to the open closet door to grab some clothes, “You wanna shower? Then you can show me how to make something to eat?”

“Absolutely I do,” Poe says, sneaking up behind Finn and kissing him on the back of his neck before going into the refresher.

He’s back out in about fifteen minutes, dressing and glancing around the room, “Finn?” he asks, walking out into the kitchen. He’s tensed, stomach twisting, nearly jumping when he turns the corner and sees Finn standing at the counter.

“Green-skinned lizard!” Poe shouts, startled, making Finn jump as well, “Why are you so quiet?”

Finn drops the datapad he’s holding, jumping again when it falls and smashes on the ground.

Poe blinks and looks down, “Oh, stars, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Finn apologizes, eyes wide, “Oh no,” he says, carefully stepping around the glass, “I’ll clean it up. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot, I didn’t mean… I don’t even think I should’ve been touching it. I don’t know how to use it. Now I’ve broken it. I’m so sorry.”

Poe’s eyes widen when Finn hits himself, not once but three times and he reaches out to stop him from doing it a fourth time, “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Finn looks at him, “I’ll… I’ll do something, tell me, anything… to make up for it. Just name it.”

“Relax,” Poe says, stepping out of the way when the mouse droid comes beeping into the room, cleaning up the glass and returning back through the hole on the side wall.

He looks back to Finn, seconds from cracking a joke when he sees the haunted expression on the other man’s face.

“Relax,” he says again, “It’s just a stupid datapad,” he picks it up, tossing it in the trash bin and leaning against the wall, “Where did you even find it?”

Finn sighs and holds an arm out, pointing to a pile of others.

Poe smiles, “Curious?”

“A little bored, I’m afraid,” Finn admits and winces, “I didn’t mean to snoop or anything. I’m guessing they’re yours.”

Poe shakes his head, “Nope, not mine,” he picks one up and turns it on, sifting through it’s data banks, “Just seems like a standard datapad. Maybe they’re for you? I have my own.”

He holds it out, offering it to Finn.

“I don’t know the first thing about this,” Finn shakes his head, “And I just broke one, I don’t think I need one.”

“You’re bored, right?”

Finn nods.

Poe motions to the datapad, moving around to Finn to show him how to use it, “There are tons of data banks that are shared property. Plenty of things you can read about.”

“Are there any things about cooking?”

“Tons,” Poe continues to demonstrate, “Although I think you should leave the physical stuff to me for a bit so you kind of see how it goes in real time.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Poe sets down the datapad then, turning Finn to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, “You okay?”

Finn lifts his brows, “Me? Yeah, I guess, I’m fine.”

“I’m referring to you freaking out just a moment ago.”

Finn sighs and drops his head on Poe’s shoulder, “I… I’m sorry about that. I just…” he looks back at Poe again, “I wanna do this right. I… I don’t make mistakes. I’m… I respect you, I respect what you do. I want this marriage thing to work. I…”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna be a good husband to you,” Finn says and Poe feels somewhat flabbergasted and speechless, “But I don’t know the first thing about what that means or how to do it. And then I go and do something stupid-”

“I scared you.”

“I think we both scared one another.”

Poe chuckles and nods, “Fair enough.” He leans in and kisses Finn, “I think you’re doing a pretty good job so far, considering this is one subject you’ve had zero training on.”

“I just wanna make you happy,” Finn says, sighing and relaxing into Poe’s arms, “You woke up so scared last night and you said my name in your sleep and it… I don’t know, maybe it freaked me out a little.”

“I said your name?”

Finn nods.

“Sorry about that,” Poe winces, “I have… always had really messed up dreams, I guess.”

“Nightmares.”

“Right, nightmares.”

“I’ve never dreamt before,” Finn admits, brows narrowing, “I think I might have, but I was reconditioned afterwards. Eventually I just stopped having them altogether.”

“Weird,” Poe says as he moves to the kitchen to start rummaging to find something for breakfast, “Normally they’re really weird and make no sense. But I’ve heard that force-sensitive people have prophetic dreams and stuff like that. You’ve never done that before?”

Finn shakes his head, “Not at all. I don’t really… I don’t use it as much as they would have you believe.”

“Why’s that?”

“Honestly?” Finn asks and Poe waits, pulling out a few things, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

Poe chuckles, then stops when he realizes that Finn is being serious, “Why uh… why does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Because I don’t want to be a jedi,” Finn tells him, dropping his gaze as if he’s ashamed of himself, “And I don’t want to be a sith.”

“And you say you’re not unique,” Poe defends Finn, walking back over to the counter and leaning in to kiss his cheek a few times, “Someone force-sensitive in an era where there are so few of you left. And you don’t even want to be a part of it at all. I’d say that sounds a lot like a personality.”

Finn flushes, stammering left and right, “I… I… I guess… I guess-”

“Relax, again, it’s a /good/ thing,” Poe rubs his back, kissing him again, this time on the lips to help calm him down, “And it’s a good personality to have, so far.”

Finn hums, hands grabbing Poe’s waist and then it’s Poe who’s rendered breathless with the needy press of lips against his own.

There must be something said about this man, at least.

It doesn’t surprise him at all that such a person would quickly rise to a position of power. He learns fast, and as innocent as he is, he is already implementing everything he’s learned. It isn’t a lot, but it’s just enough to make him dangerous… in all the good ways.

Just as Poe starts to get carried away, lose himself, Finn pulls back from the kiss. His hands rest on Poe’s backside as they stare into one another’s eyes.

Poe swallows, still catching his breath, “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Finn admits, “You got any idea what you’re making?”

“I’ve got a few plans in mind,” Poe winks at him, turning his back and stepping over to pick up where he’d left off at, “Just let me know if I make something you don’t like.”

“I doubt you could.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of this fic is already fully posted elsewhere (almost 20k words). For full releases at once, check out my tumblr @ Bigdealrebel!


	6. First Kiss

The rest of their first week together is spent with Poe cooking as many variations of things as he can think of; introducing Finn to their history collection, and then a collection of fiction novels when he quickly finishes the first set; waking up from nightmares in the strong arms of the otherwise silent Stormtrooper; and carefully walking Finn through the processes of self-exploration and masturbation.

During the day, Poe sometimes has to leave to attend meetings with General Organa. Finn spends most of that time working out, going on jogs, and reading in his spare time.

Finn doesn’t wake up sweating and screaming from nightmares and, while Poe’s aren’t that dramatic, it does seem a little strange that /he’s/ the one plagued with them. But Finn is always awake when he opens his eyes, kissing him and calming him and offering his support when it’s needed.

He doesn’t overhear or stumble upon another conversation between Finn and General Hux, or anyone from the First Order. And he doesn’t tell Finn, but that conversation is featured in his nightmares somewhat regularly. That, amongst everything else he’s had reasons for nightmares before the fact.

Finn continuously surprises him.

Not only does the man display great self-discipline, but he is completely unpredictable. And at the same time, he is entirely predictable, in that way.

Despite learning about his more sexual nature, and human needs in general, he doesn’t often act on them or ask much about them at all. Most of the time, he’ll only really use what he’s learned when they’re already intimate.

Poe had known he was a goner from the start, but as days go he falls more and more in love with Finn.

There’s something about his light-hearted nature, his innocence, and genuineness that really surprises Poe. He would never expect that such a creature could live and even flourish within the First Order.

Finn is certainly one of a kind.

Poe likes to think that Finn is just as gone with him as he is, but the relationship is rarely tested.

Until it is.

* * *

“You’re headed to the base?”

Poe flips out his lapels, stopping when he pulls the door open, “Yeah, the General needs me to help with a few maintenance decisions.”

Finn reaches out to grab his arm, “Can… uh… can I go with you?”

Poe lifts his brows, “You wanna come to the base?”

“Would it be weird?” Finn frowns, pressing his lips together and looking down to his feet, “It’s just that I don’t really have a whole lot to do. It… it gets… nothing. Can I go?”

“It gets lonely?” Poe asks, his chest tightening.

“Yeah.”

Finn’s voice is so small, so worried, that it makes Poe ache even more than he already is. And he folds.

Stars, he’s as predictable as his husband.

“Alright, you can come along,” Poe says and kisses him, “Grab your jacket though, the ride can get cold.”

The ride /does/ get cold. Finn shouts and crows in excitement during the whole ride, but he’s shivering by the time they get off the speeder.

Poe parks by the rest of them, guiding Finn up the front steps and clearing the entrance, “Stick with me, okay?”

“You can count on that,” Finn says, eyes glancing all around.

“Dameron.”

Poe nods to Jess as she walks by them. A few others each waving to him as they pass.

“It’s all… different than I thought,” Finn voices once they’re all a good distance away.

“What were you expecting?”

“I guess less like this and more like our own home. This feels more like a First Order base.”

Poe chuckles, watching Finn stop in the hall when BB-8 rolls up to them, beeping in excitement.

[ Partner Poe! // Partner Poe + Company = Partner Poe’s Finn person joining the Resistance? ]

He blanches when his husband, the clueless man that he is, begins making whistles and sounds with his mouth in response to the droid.

[ Druid + Conclusion = Incorrect ]

BB-8 rolls back a few feet, staring up at Finn in its own astonishment. And then they start going insane, whirling and beeping.

[ Partner Poe’s Finn person = Fluent in Binary?? ]

Finn chuckles and responds, albeit calmer than Poe’s droid, [ Partner Poe’s Finn person = Fluent in 37 languages ]

BB-8 responds with a sound that can easily be interpreted as ‘woah’.

Poe watches in stunned silence as they continue speaking, only looking away when another person joins them and he smiles at the man that takes his hand.

“Poe, hey, been a while.”

“If you call three years a while,” Poe says numbly as Finn squats down to be on eye level with BB-8, “I…” he turns his attention back to the other pilot, “How have you been, Von?”

“Lonely,” the guy says, lowering his voice, “Wanna get out of here?”

Poe blinks a few times, “What?”

“Don’t act surprised,” Von winks at him, “I know it’s been a while, but-”

“I’m married,” Poe responds, frowning.

“Yeah, I heard about that,” Von waves his hand dismissively, “And he doesn’t have to know. Come on,” he smirks, “Ditch the droid and his friend and come have a drink with me? It’ll be just like old times.”

Finn stands up then and joins them, startling Poe when he places his hand on Poe’s lower back and moves in close to his side.

“This a friend?” Finn asks, smiling tightly and when Poe looks at him he sees something he hasn’t quite seen yet. Fire.

“Von,” Von offers his hand.

Finn takes it, jaw tightening, “I’m the husband,” he says, turning and leaning in to kiss Poe, something firm and breathtaking and toe-curling before pulling Poe even closer, “We should get a move on?”

“We should,” Poe agrees, clearing his throat, “Absolutely, we should. Don’t wanna hold up the General.”

He doesn’t really think much of the interaction while he’s speaking with General Organa, or even afterwards when they drop by the mess to get a bite to eat.

The whole thing lasted less than a minute.

But once they get home he realizes that while he hasn’t been thinking about it, Finn has been festering.

Almost the second they’re in the door, Finn pushes him back against it and fists his hair, pulling him into a kiss so hard and desperate he’s not sure he’ll be forgetting it any time soon.

He gasps, eyes widening when Finn moves, unzipping his pants and snapping the button to tug them down.

Poe’s hand barely finds the door frame to hold himself up when Finn takes his half-hard erection between those gorgeous lips.

They haven’t actually gotten to this yet. Poe’s alluded to it a few times but...

“Finn,” Poe groans, resisting the urge to buck into the heat, his legs shaking, “Oh, stars, Finn.”

His right hand balls into a fist, curling in Finn’s shirt as his other hand cups his jaw. He wills himself to watch Finn, to see him move his lips forward and back, perfect and methodical and with a practised ease that should only come from doing this a thousand times.

But he hasn’t, and the thought of that is flooring.

“Finn,” Poe says again, repeating his name over and over, as if releasing the pressure when it builds up too high.

His legs feel like jelly, the hand steel-gripped on his waist working as an anchor as Finn takes in more of him, deeper and deeper until his lips and nose touch base.

It doesn’t take but two more deep thrusts for Poe to completely lose it, leaning over Finn and letting out a broken sound as cum shoots down the back of his throat. His numb hands pet and caress Finn, combing through his hair as Finn tucks him back in his pants and stands up.

He barely has a moment to gather himself before Finn is kissing him again, pulling back and tucking his face in Poe’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, open mouth closing over skin and sucking flushes between Poe’s neck and shoulder.

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I’ve never… I’ve never really felt that way before,” Finn admits, still marking Poe, and then he growls lowly, “Feel. I’ve never felt /this/ way before.”

Poe blinks at the sound, the tone of the other man’s voice, “You okay there, buddy?”

“No.”

“You… what’s going on? Talk with me.”

Initially, still overlooking what had happened earlier, he assumes that maybe General Hux had spoken with Finn.

“You’re taken.”

Poe lifts his brows, “Hmm?”

“Spoken for,” Finn tries to explain, pulling back to look him in the eyes, “You’re mine… and he… it was like he didn’t even care.”

It takes almost a solid minute for it to click, and then Poe feels like a complete idiot.

“Wait, is this about Von?”

“Yes.”

Poe runs his hand down Finn’s neck, then down his back, “That really bothered you?”

“Yes,” Finn repeats, eyes now downcast.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Poe assures him, smiling sadly, “Just… come on, okay,” he clears his throat and buttons and zips his pants, leading Finn over to the couch and pulling him down onto it beside him, “You gotta talk with me, you gotta let me know what you’re feeling.”

Finn frowns, unable to meet his eyes, “I think I know what it is.”

“Yeah?”

“And I don’t like it.”

“Jealousy?” Poe asks rhetorically, “You don’t like feeling jealous?”

Finn shakes his head, leaning in and searching Poe’s eyes, “And…”

Poe swallows, blushing at the way he’s being stared at, “And?”

“I don’t like the thought of…” Finn wets his lips, “Losing you. It’s possible, isn’t it?” he continues on, vocalizing everything he’s been keeping inside, “It wouldn’t surprise me. You’re spending your time with someone that was the enemy. Your wasting energy on a clueless, untrained, auto-that’s what I am. I’m an automaton. I might as well be a robot.”

“Finn-”

“I know that’s what I am,” Finn cuts him off, his gaze getting harder, the line of his lips doing the same and then he stands up from the couch. He walks away, but stops a few feet from the far wall and looks at Poe helplessly.

Poe starts to open his mouth but closes it, looking down at his hands.

“That’s fine. You don’t have to say anything,” Finn sighs and drops back, resting his back on the wall, “I know I’m not what you wanted. You’ve spent so much time teaching me about hopes and dreams, about the life of a civilian. What they want in life, what they long for. It’s different for a stormtrooper. All we have is the mission, and the next, and the one after that.”

Poe feels startlingly sober, as if the last few months have just been a dream for him. He clenches his jaw, fiddling with his fingernails as he listens.

“We’re lucky if we live long enough to go on more than a handful,” Finn continues, “We don’t have hope. Not unless you count having our own choice on how we go out. If we’re lucky, it’s fast - when and if it does happen. None of them even know about any of this.”

He holds his arms out to either sides of himself, “They don’t know what it’s like to eat a sandwich, to take /time/. None of them know what a decent night’s sleep is. What it’s like to wake up with a beautiful man in their arms. To hear his breathing.”

Poe’s right back to blushing again, looking up as Finn advances back in.

“To touch him and kiss him… to hold him when he has nightmares,” Finn drops onto his knees, taking both of Poe’s hands in both of his, staring up at him, “I don’t… I don’t get a lot of it. I’m sorry. I can’t be like… like the person you would’ve gotten married to would have been.”

“I don’t want you to be.”

“You do,” Finn insists, smiling sadly, “Subconsciously, or otherwise… you do. No one wants a partner like me that they have to baby and walk through /everything/. I know what you’re giving up for this. What you /gave up/ for me. For our sides to reach peace. To give others the chance to have their hopes and dreams come true.”

Poe blinks fiercely when his eyes start stinging, his heart twinging in pain, “Finn-”

“I’m lucky. I know I am,” Finn laughs and he looks at Poe’s hands as his thumbs rub the soft, olive skin, “But I…” he stops, grip tightening, and then his gaze snaps back up, “I am… I have hopes and dreams of my own, now.”

A tear drips down Poe’s cheek and Finn shifts closer, lacing their fingers together.

“I want you,” he says confidently, “I want you, and not just for peace, not because of-not because of anything else other than that I… I can’t help myself.” He lets out a sigh of breath, “It’s what I want.”

“Finn-”

“I know it’s not ideal. I’m not ideal. I’m… I can’t even begin to list everything that’s wrong with me, but I don’t wanna lose you.” Finn rolls his shoulders back, lifting his brows, “I’ll show you, I’ll prove it, just tell me what you want.”

Poe lets out a long breath, shaking his head, “Finn,” he waits, half-expecting him to begin talking again, but when Finn watches and stares at Poe, Poe allows himself to sit upright and remove his hands from Finn’s, only to grab his jacket and yank him up, slamming their mouths together.

It’s hard, like a /real/ first kiss. Longing and full of desire and emotions.

Finn falls back, his hands wrapping around Poe’s waist and for a second he’s thought he caught Finn off guard. And while he kind of did, Finn recovers quickly, holding him and turning them over and kissing him back hurriedly.

He breaks it though, cupping Poe’s chin and jaw, “I don’t understand. What do you want?”

Poe chuckles, staring up at him, “I just want you, buddy,” he says, knowing that it’s an honest response, “Clueless, constantly questioning, automaton you. Finn. That guy… how he was acting… how he was with me? I was like that maybe ten years ago. I’m not that person anymore. I haven’t been that person for a long time.”

Finn smiles down at him, “So you don’t want someone older, someone more experienced?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re okay with me?”

“More than okay, pal.”


	7. That Makes Two of Us

“I think you’ve made up this tradition just so that you could find something that I’m not a natural at.”

Poe laughs, leaning back on one hand and tossing another berry, not surprised when Finn misses catching it with his mouth again, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“You’re a horrible person, Poe Dameron,” Finn picks up the berry from where it had fallen in his lap, eating it and glaring at his husband, “Absolutely the worst person.”

“Terrible,” Poe agrees, reaching up to toss another and gasping when Finn surges up from the other side of the blanket, launching at him and catching him before Poe has time to move away, “No, no! That’s cheating!”

He shouts as Finn grabs his hand, pushing it open and eating the smooshed berry from his still curled fingers.

“Cheater,” Poe groans and then lets out a weak sound when Finn licks his skin, tasting the juice, cleaning it from his hand. He flushes, sitting up slightly as Finn turns to kiss him.

Almost immediately, their simple picnic gets heated.

Finn’s been like this more and more. As the weeks passed and eventually months, Finn seemed to get all the more aroused whenever they had the time to laze around together. Fooling around was losing its charm, though.

Finn was starting to want more.

And while Poe was more than ready to show him the ropes, he still wasn’t sure if Finn really was /ready/ for something like that.

He gasps when Finn pushes him back, holding his wrists above his head, kissing his mouth and cheeks and throat. One hand moves down his waist and Poe shivers at the touch.

His legs wrap around Finn’s hips, staring up at the sky and then bucking suddenly, “Okay, okay. As much as I wanna continue this… we /do/ have neighbors now.”

It was true.

Their empty land had eventually become populated as the war effort settled and people moved out of the barracks.

It didn’t help that people loved being around Finn. He had a kind of charisma that made others feel like planets around a bright, beaming sun.

“Pretty sure they don’t mind,” Finn says, his tone the kind that he gets right before he goes down on Poe and-

The both of them sit upright when rain suddenly starts pouring down.

Finn looks around, then up, “What-”

“Sunshower,” Poe explains, laughing and reaching out to cover the food.

“But… how?”

“Wind,” Poe continues, “Come on, help me out.”

Finn snaps into action, helping Poe to wrap up everything and then he takes it from Poe and tosses it aside.

“What-” Poe stops when the lips press to his, warm and wet and open and breathy. He moans, touching the soaked fabric of Finn’s shirt as he reaches up to wrap his arms around Finn’s neck.

He’s lived by the fact that kissing in the rain is /not/ sexy. It isn’t. It’s weird and awkward and downright stupid to even try to do. It’s about as stupid as trying to have sex in the shower. It looks sexy in holovids, but in real life it just… doesn’t work.

But there’s something about the way Finn does it that changes the formula.

Finn’s climbed into his bath fully clothed just to kiss him and spontaneously make out. He’s kissed Poe with mouthfuls of food, in front of others, while he’s crying, while he’s sleeping, while he’s cooking, and yeah… in the shower.

Something just works for the guy.

Poe will never know how it works, but it does.

He starts to get lost in it, and just when he feels like he’s a goner, Finn pulls back and tugs Poe’s head from the clouds and puts his feet back on the ground. The cold, wet, dirty ground.

“Let’s get inside,” Finn says against his ear in a way that Poe interprets as ‘I want you’.

He winks at Finn, reaching back out for the wrapped up food and following the larger man back to their house.

They step inside, Finn reaching out to flick back on the light and they both stop in their footsteps when they realize they’re not alone.

Poe blinks when the blasters fire, but the beams from each of them stop, ricocheting in mid-air and hitting each of the stormtroopers. He watches helplessly as Finn takes out each of them, snapping a neck, flipping another off his feet, sweeping two of them from underneath, hitting one so hard that his helmet cracks and his head yanks to the side.

In less than a minute, they’re completely dismantled and Finn’s the last one standing apart from Poe himself.

He has a moment where he touches his own chest and face just before Finn’s doing the same.

“Are you okay?”

“I… I…” Poe mutters numbly, “I think… I think so.”

Finn cups his face, kissing him hard before looking back at each of the stormtroopers in confusion, “I don’t understand.”

“That makes two of us.”

Poe and Finn turn from the doorway, backing into the house when they see the tall woman standing there. Her red skin and horns, short black hair and black tattoos on her face as she sneers at them both.

“I told General Hux he was waiting too long,” she says, the red lightsaber lighting up as she smiles maliciously, “But he just couldn’t imagine insubordination from you after being so loyal to the First Order.”

Finn reaches out, moving in front of Poe.

The woman raises a brow at them, meeting Poe’s eyes, “He will be disappointed. But there’s always another to replace you, FN-2187.”

“Yez’mera,” Finn backs them closer to the wall, “You don’t need to do this. I know you’ve struggled with the Force most of your life. Please.”

“Sell it to someone else,” Yez’mera cuts him off from damning himself any further, “I’ll give you one chance to redeem yourself in the name of the First Order. You got your orders, didn’t you?”

Poe frowns, brows narrowing in confusion when Finn tenses in front of him.

“Didn’t you?”

“I did.”

Yez’mera nods, “Good,” she relaxes the lightsaber, holding it out to Finn, “Kill him, and I won’t tell General Hux about the eight stormtroopers you took out.”

Finn opens his mouth.

Poe waits, heart racing, his hand still clasped tight against Finn’s side.

“I’d sooner die,” Finn says firmly, reaching out to take the lightsaber, the device fighting in the air between them as the sith howls in rage.

“Very well, traitor!” she shouts, her feet raising just slightly from the ground.

Finn reaches back, stopping Poe when he tries to move. He keeps his right hand out, gritting his teeth.

But the lightsaber folds, flying to the Zabrak’s hand and she lashes out, swinging, but Finn ducks, pulling Poe down with him.

He throws his arm out, knocking Yez’mera back off her feet and into the wall.

Poe dives down to grab one of the blasters, aiming it up and shooting, but it sparks and protests instead. He starts to grab another when he hears Finn shout. A sound that might just haunt him the rest of his life.

“Poe, no!”

He looks up as the lightsaber comes down towards him, Finn shoving into the way and taking the hit for him.

“Finn!”

Poe drops the second blaster, Finn collapsing against him and they drop together. His arms wrap around Finn, turning to lay him down, checking his face, checking his heart.

“No, no, no,” he tries to get Finn to open his eyes, to look at him, “Please, don’t… don’t take him from me.”

“It’s always a shame to see such potential wasted on a spineless drone.”

Poe turns to her, his eyes burning with tears, “You-”

“I know,” she smiles, putting her lightsaber to her waist and reaching out to grab him, twisting his arm and pulling him from the house and out into the damp grass leftover by the sunshower.

Poe loses his footing, knees hitting the ground before she hoists him back up, her cybernetic arms making the act seem effortless.

He stumbles out, lifting his chin to see the First Order ships touching ground around them, the other Resistance members gathered, some on their knees and others on their backs.

Before he can make out too many of them, he’s shoved down with them, unable to do more than sob and hiss in pain when they lock his wrists up in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter update will be sooner, on Thursday - since it's a bit short. I might actually keep posting like that (Mondays and Thursdays).


	8. The Betrayal

Time passes as he lays with his face in the grass, his body curled together.

All he can think of is his husband… dead on the floor of their home.

Finn, his beautiful smile, his laugh, everything that made him unique and real. All of it gone.

Poe has lost plenty of others before. He’s felt sad, but he’s never felt well and truly broken. Without Finn… without that light in his life, he has no real purpose.

He hears a shout of indignation, people gasping around him, and then he sees the knees slam into the grass beside him.

“Poe,” she says and he blinks the burning tears from his eyes, but he doesn’t look at her.

He feels Rey’s hand on his face.

“Poe, please, where’s Finn?”

“D-... he’s…” Poe turns into the grass.

“No, please, no.”

He can hear her crying, feel her arms around him. Not only had they grown close over the last months, but they had only recently started training together. Her and Ben and Finn had just begun working out something that was neither Jedi nor Sith.

And now it was gone.

“I felt him,” she whispers weakly and he knows she’s covering her mouth with her hand, “I felt him…”

Poe swallows as the last bit of hope he had diminishes.

She helps him back onto his knees, holds him, and he can finally see the people around them, and the… lack of leaders.

He looks at Rey, eyes wide, “Ben? Leia?”

Rey shakes her head, most of her hair still tied back, her face red.

“Both of them?”

“I don’t…” she lets out a trembling breath and that’s when he realizes that she’s covered in blood, “I can’t feel him. I don’t know.”

Poe presses his lips together and takes her hand.

They sit for a long time, possibly hours, with others crying and huddling close.

And then the stormtroopers come out of the front doors, carrying seven bodies with them and lining each out in front.

“Your leaders are dead,” General Hux says, motioning down to each of them, saying each name and leaving Ben and Leia for last. He pauses, staring out at them as Resistance members cover their mouths, cry, let out broken sounds.

Poe and Rey shake at his words, bowing their heads.

“This childish ‘peace treaty’, if it’s not already clear, was a ruse. A ruse you all fell for because your cause is weak,” he continues, smiling when the sith that had killed Finn joins him.

She shoves down three more Resistance members and turns to look at them all, taking out her lightsaber.

“And just in case you still have hope,” General Hux motions for her, “In case you think there’s still a chance-”

Yez’mera moves to the bodies of the Resistance leaders, slashing each of their necks for good measure. But just as she reaches Ben, Rey shouts and stands from Poe’s side.

She leaps before any of them can stop her, screaming and swinging her arm out to pull the lightsaber from Ben’s limp grip.

It lights up and the two begin to fight, but then the door of the ship opens again, everyone backing away as the bronze-armored stormtrooper steps out onto the field, blaster rifle in hand and lightsaber at his own side.

Poe blinks and numbly stands up.

“Captain,” General Hux nods to him, “2187, it’s good to have you back.”

“Good to be back, General.”

Poe’s gut twists sickly.

“Finn,” Rey says, voicing his own fear as her arms drop, “No-” she shouts when Yez’mera kicks down onto her shin, knocking her back to the ground.

“Finn?” General Hux asks, looking from Rey to Poe and laughing, “Oh, this is priceless. You tried to give him a name?”

Finn is unmoving by Hux’s side and Poe starts to make his way through the people.

He stops when the blasters from the stormtroopers around them all aim at him. But he only has eyes for the bronze-armored one, “Finn.”

“I do not answer to that title,” Finn says.

General Hux smiles tightly, “Enough small talk,” he turns his back from their exchange, “Captain 2187, you have your orders. Kill them all.”

“Stormtroopers,” Finn glances at them.

Poe shakes, stepping forward again and the blaster rifle is aimed at him once more.

“Finn!” Rey shouts, throwing out her arm with the lightsaber and cutting the rifle in half.

At once, he arms himself with his own, meeting her blade, the stormtroopers around them looking at each other helplessly.

Finn hits Rey between her shoulder and arm, then in the middle of the chest, pulling her in. With her close, he yanks her down from her feet and kicks the lightsaber from her arm.

It flies and skids, sliding across the grass and hitting the tip of Poe’s barefoot.

For a second, everything freezes.

He can see the crowd around him backing away, Rey hunched over, Finn staring at him. He can’t see his husband’s eyes, of course, but he feels the betrayal bubbling in his gut.

He drops, grabs up the handle and fiddles with it for just a second before it comes out and he sees the bronze-armored stormtrooper take a step back.

Poe can feel the emptiness inside of him rising to the surface. He’s already lost everything else. His husband is a two-faced liar, scum, and he was a fool. But if he does anything before he dies, he’ll get some revenge.

He runs at Finn, swinging his arm and being easily parried by the skilled fighter.

Each attack is thwarted before Poe has time to form it. Try as he might, he can’t even land a single blow. Others watch on helplessly, Rey’s eyes wide as Finn… no, FN-2187 taunts him.

“Give up, Poe Dameron,” FN-2187 says, blocking him and pushing him back off of his feet. Poe gets up, coming back in and being parried once more, “You’re not making any difference here. It’s over.”

Poe swings and misses again. He’s not a fighter, he’s a pilot, and it comes through very clearly when he starts to grow more and more exhausted the more he fights.

FN-2187 kicks his feet out from under him and he falls back, breathless and teared up, his bottom lip shaking.

“Are you done trying to be a hero?”

Poe stares up at him, “At least I’m trying,” he says, face and ears red, hair a mess, “At least I have a heart.”

FN-2187 straightens back up and takes the offered blaster rifle to replace his previous one, dropping his lightsaber and aiming the barrel of the blaster rifle down at Poe directly, “Stormtroopers!”

The soldiers around them straighten back up to attention, lifting their weapons.

Poe glances down when he sees the lightsaber shaking, then it flies suddenly, not to FN-2187, not to Rey, but to Ben’s open hand.

“At ease!” FN-2187 shouts, turning as Ben and Rey both jump to their feet, Yez’mera meeting their lightsabers. The blaster rifle turns from Poe and FN-2187 shoots General Hux.

Poe opens his mouth in confusion.

“Clear the First Order ships,” FN-2187 orders, stepping away from him, “Flight and maintenance both. I want them all removed and cuffed.”

For a second Poe takes in a breath, expecting them to attack, but then the stormtroopers split into groups, going back into each craft to do as their leader commanded them.


	9. Hopeless

Poe feels his hands ball into fists, grinding his teeth as he stands and shoves FN-2187.

“Poe-”

“I hate you!” he shouts, unable to feel anything more than rage and pain and fear, hitting FN-2187 in his chest armor over and over again.

“Poe, please-” his helmet is knocked off and Poe stops, seeing the wide eyes, the confused, sad, pained expression.

Poe wipes his mouth, feeling ashamed at his outburst, but then a sound from behind them startles them both and they turn just in time to see the sith that Rey and Ben are fighting parry each of them in turn and leap over them both.

Poe barely has time to realize what’s happening before his arm is twisted back and he feels the warmth of the lightsaber near his neck.

“Stand down!” Yez’mera shouts when the three others try to come at her, “Or he dies.”

“Please,” Finn holds up a hand, shaking as his eyes meet Poe’s, “Please, don’t hurt him.”

“He’s important to you,” the sith observes, “So important that you would betray who you really are. That you would give up your position in the First Order, risk it all, just for a weak pilot.”

She tightens her hold, making Poe shout out in pain, but it’s nothing in comparison to the heat of the lightsaber as she brings it in closer to his face.

“I should make an example of him,” Yez’mera’s voice is sour and cold from just behind his right ear, “Marr his pretty face up.”

“Please,” Finn says again, tears on his cheeks.

“Finn,” Poe attempts to comfort him, “I-” he’s cut off when Yez’mera brings the lightsaber in closer, cutting through the front of his shirt.

People around them gasp, Rey looks away in horror.

“Don’t hurt him, I… I… I’ll do anything, just dont hurt him.”

“Stop talking,” Yez’mera groans out in annoyance and disgust, spitting at the ground, “You’re disgusting me. Stop.”

“Please-” Finn tries again.

“Let’s make a deal,” Yez’mera says then, and Poe can’t see it, but he can hear the smile twist her lips as she speaks, “You and me. One on one. And if you win, you get to keep your sweet little pilot.”

Finn tenses visibly, his gaze finally leaving Poe’s eyes to meet Yez’mera’s just over his shoulder, “And… and if I lose?”

“You come back with me for reconditioning,” the sith says simply, “And we leave here without retaliation from your little jedi friends.”

Finn looks to Rey and Ben, and then he nods.

“I have to say, I’m unconvinced,” Yez’mera responds, “Maybe I’ll make a little example of how /serious/ I am.”

Poe’s brows tighten in confusion, and then he feels the pain, cold and hot at the same time, burning his left pec.

“You have a deal!” Finn shouts, “I’ll fight you.”

Yez’mera lets up and then releases Poe’s arm, rolling her fist to swing the lightsaber, “Very well.”

Poe feels her rush past him, Finn barely having time to defend himself as she launches through a vicious series of attacks.

“I always knew you were soft,” she says as their lightsabers meet, “I told Hux myself that he was making a mistake giving you the position of captain.”

Poe drops to his knees, watching the assault with bated breath.

“Once you’re reconditioned, I promise you,” Yez’mera easily parries Finn, meeting his kicks with quick, precise retaliation and backhanding him hard across the face, “I’ll be the one that beats that softness out of you.”

Finn doesn’t respond, but Poe can tell it’s not because he doesn’t want to. It’s because this fight is taking everything he has to keep up with the sith. He’s getting tired. He’s losing.

Poe suddenly remembers the attack back in their home. He doesn’t know how Finn is even /standing/ right now. He saw the hit, he knows how bad it should be. If it wasn’t enough to kill Finn, it should’ve been enough to keep him down at least.

It was at /least/ nearly fatal.

Finn is careful to keep his footing, to ensure that Yez’mera remains in front of him at all times, but it does little to assist in his valiant efforts.

Yez’mera hits him hard in the chest, knocking him down to his knees and then she kicks the weapon from his hand. She holds the lightsaber out victoriously, just next to his head, “I should kill you for your insubordination,” she smiles down at him.

“I would rather die by your hand than live another day as a slave to the First Order,” Finn says as he straightens his body.

Poe opens his mouth, but he sees the resolve set in Finn’s expression. The gaze flickering just before it does, meeting his own eyes.

“I am not that merciful,” Yez’mera responds and then she hits him hard, knocking him to the ground.

She looks around, to Rey and Ben, as if daring them to challenge her.

If they won’t, he will.

Poe stands back up, starts to move towards her before he’s stopped in his tracks as she holds her hand up and out towards him.

“Yes, I expected as much,” the sith says pitifully, “Your kind and your bleeding hearts are far too predictable.”

Poe grits his teeth but the more he tries the harder it gets to move or do anything. He feels the very air around him squeeze, stealing his breath.

Yez’mera turns then, motioning with her head, “Take your captain back into the ship,” she orders the stormtroopers.

Most of them seem hesitant at first, but then they move together, four of them lifting Finn by his arms and legs and taking him up into the ship.

Yez’mera looks at them all one last time before she turns her back to them and leaves as well.

It isn’t until Poe feels his own body released that he realizes he wasn’t the only one being held back. Rey collapses against Ben in exhaustion and Poe drops to his knees again.

The wind picks up as the ship takes flight and he stares as his only hope left in the galaxy is taken from him.

* * *

The aftermath is just as devastating.

General Organa’s burial, alongside their other leaders, leaves the Resistance with a cold feeling in their ranks.

Despite Poe being the next highest in ranking, he lets Rey and Ben take up the helm. But they insist on having him around as an advisor.

Poe stays at the base for less than a day before returning back to their home. He doesn't know why, but he expected the front door to still be open and the bodies of the stormtroopers Finn had dismantled to be laying on the floor of the front room.

They aren't.

Poe walks slowly through the house, to their room, and sits on the edge of the bed.

The light in the refresher is still on, damp towels on the floor from the day before and he turns to the crumpled shirt left on the bed.

He picks it up, rolling the fabric between his fingers and then bringing it up to his nose, breathing it in before laying down on Finn’s side of the bed.

Poe brings his legs up, not bothering to take off his jacket and his shoes.

His chest heaves, broken sobs ripping through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I'm horrible.
> 
> Believe it or not, this was actually supposed to have a happy ending.
> 
> And then I changed my mind.
> 
> I'm taking a short break here on AO3 before I start posting up the second part (which IS fully written and available already, head over to my Tumblr for more information about full releases at once @ Bigdealrebel).
> 
> Until then, leave your sadness and/or rage in the comments. I'll try to console you the best I can.

**Author's Note:**

> The rest of this fic is already fully posted elsewhere (almost 20k words). For full releases at once, check out my tumblr @ Bigdealrebel!


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